Welcome back to B is for Book Coach. I’m B, midwife of big ideas and book development partner for writers and non-writers alike. And for the next few minutes, you are my author.
Don’t worry. That doesn’t commit you to anything more than what you’re doing right in this moment. Because the best authors are simply people who show up as themselves, for themselves and for their readers.
Today, we’re making space for balance.
“Are you and I just weird?”
A client I’ve worked with for years now asked me this recently.
We were talking about routines. Specifically, the mythical “work-life balance” that so many claim to have.
Come to think of it, I’m not sure many claim to have it. They just tell us that we’re supposed to.
Because that’s exactly what we all need—one more “supposed-to” to keep us up at night. Only this one tells us not to stay up at night. For balance purposes.
And so the paradox grows: the tasks to be done and the insistence that we not do them tangling up into a knot on par with “Can God make a rock so big he can’t lift it?”
Can a multipassionate, purpose-first changemaker find a routine so balanced that they’re actually satisfied?
The catch is, the more you create, the more the purpose grows, which means you have to create more…the only semblance of balance is in the teeter tottering back and forth between growing into something new and growing out of it—with a brief touch of satisfaction every time we cross that midpoint.
Which is all to say, no. I don’t think we’re “weird.” Not in the sense that we’re alone, anyway.
I think balance is hard to find because balance is not a destination.
It is a constant, active tension.
And any time you’re holding tension with new muscles, it hurts.
This is not abnormal.
It’s as human as any other growth process.
The “weird” part is only that we’re talking about it.
Writing about it.
Being honest about it.
When I tell you that writing is a weird gig, and that showing up is the bulk of the work—this is what I mean.
There are all kinds of paths to authorship that don’t require honest vulnerability. And if you just wanted your name on the cover of any old thing, you’d have taken one of those paths and been done by now.
But this path? The one where you mine your guts for meaning and extract your vision and process your life’s work so that just one person might have a better experience of their own life?
This is hard mode.
And most of us are doing it while the meaning keeps building and the vision keeps expanding and the process keeps moving.
Not weird. Not alone. But also not very balanced.
At least not from the outside looking in.
There is next to no way to fit all of that into a nice little daily container that fits neatly alongside predictable work hours and an impeccably managed home.
Some might call it personality, priorities, even procrastination—and I’m okay with those people being wrong.
Because the truth is that the ebbs and flows of life are also the ebbs and flows of creative work.
There are seasons of deep focus off the page and intense flow on it.
There are sudden brainstorms and periodic droughts.
There are sleepless nights where you can’t put the manuscript down and nights where you can’t get away from the colicky baby and nights where you just can’t keep your eyes open anymore.
There are periods of time where you feel shame for not writing and times where you feel shamed for being at your computer all the time.
And the only unnatural thing about any of it is the shame.
That part is not yours to hold onto.
You can set it down any time.
The rest of it?
Yeah, if that makes us weird, I think I’m okay with it.
Because I’ve seen what else it makes—both on and off the page.
And it is worth every imbalanced second.
Hey, thanks for creating this space with me today.
Whether or not you’re ready to dive into writing just yet, remember that the best authors show up fully, just as they are. That’s all it takes—and you're already doing it.
Be sure to subscribe on Substack or wherever you listen to podcasts to catch every coaching moment to come. And when more of your book is ready to emerge, the space we made today will be here waiting for you.
Share this post